你可以说我悲观，可是我真的这么相信。
今天之后，就得认真失业。
哦是求职。
交了论文，其实心情并没有特别愉快。
因为我没有尽力。
不过也罢，过了总好过没过。
今天 看到论文指导老师，他看到我们的第一句话是，
太好了，你们活着来。
想想，真对。
没死在 fyp 的手里，已是大幸。
就别再计较那些 self expectations 了。
最近最喜欢的歌，无聊帖上。
Filed under: Crapping
March 2, 2009 • 6:52 pm 4
I survived
I believe the stabbing in ntu is not news anymore.
I thought I can understand the pain of doing fyp. But perhaps not the pain he felt that drove him to the actions that ultimately took his own life. Wherther or not he did what he did because of fyp, will remain as a question when he drew his last breath.
I can only assume it’s because of fyp.
I blamed my current screwed up life on fyp.
This is me, who suffered an ridiculous amount of mental blocks, procrastinated like hell yet felt extremely bothered by the procrastination, cried n times for it, ended a relationship with my ex-boyfriend largely because he couldn’t stand all my black faces because of fyp, couldn’t face fyp with any positivity after the breakup (not that I could before actually), dragged a due draft for 6 weeks and thanked god for letting my phone die when my professor was trying to contact me. I even dreamt that I drowned and the only thought in my dreaming mind was ‘oh yay i finally have excuse not to do fyp.’
I admit. The thought of ’how good it would be if i die and I don’t need to do fyp anymore’ crossed my mind. But I do know that I only have myself to blame.
And no, no way I am going to take my life because of fyp.
Late realisation but, I’m not going to run away from fyp anymore, because I survived it already.
The same thing goes to everyone out there who’s still fighting the boss.
For the chinese folks: 14 more days to submission. Hang in there, because we survived.
For the non-chinese folks: it will be over soon too (:
Filed under: Crapping
February 23, 2009 • 8:36 pm 3
Okuri bito
This film just won the best foreign film in Oscars.
I wonder if it would come to Singapore. T.T
Filed under: Crapping
February 18, 2009 • 4:50 pm 0
I am not
No I am not like him, able to observe things that others wouldn’t, without having people to tell.
Take work for instance. I lost count of how many times I dio-ed shit because of things that I wouldn’t know in the first place if no one tells me. Yes I do admit there are some things I didn’t know which is pretty unforgivable. But other than that, I am not supposed to know a staff’s direct line if one doesn’t tell me isn’t it? Yet I am supposed to know, and it becomes my fault that I don’t.
Ex-boyfriend accused me of not understanding him, and unwilling to listen to what he wanted to tell me badly. That accusation is true, but it’s not entirely my fault when he expects that I would understand him without him saying anything. He said he didn’t tell me stuff about himself (like his hk trip) because he thought I won’t want to listen. But how are people supposed to listen and know what you are if you do not say? It just so happens that I am not one who likes to ask questions.
The expectation that you are to know things without having people to tell you, is really pissing me off. It might be my character flaw that I am so not observant and understanding, but there are some things that you will never know even if you are as observant as Patrick Jane.
Seriously Jane, would you be able to know the phone number if you were me? I figured you might be able to observe what’s the block beside the building I work at the first time you arrive at the scene.
Then that’s my bad.
p/s: I came back home and started watching The Mentalist after one bad day. The dialouge below cracked me up quite a bit:
(the scene is about the man Wolcott whose wife died while cheating on him, trying to get the lover’s name from Cho, one of the detectives in the story)
Wolcott: I want his name.
Cho: I can’t give you.
Wolcott: Are you sure, Mr Cho? Because I can make one phone call, and your career is toast.
Cho: That’s impressive. The best I can get with one call is a pizza.
Funny XD.
Filed under: Crapping
February 10, 2009 • 11:43 pm 4
Pre-Valentine’s musing
The reason why I changed a blog url, is so that I can become at ease to blog about the more personal things in life.
I do have to admit though, I have better things to be depressed about right now. Like my academic screwups. D:
Haii.
Filed under: Crapping
February 8, 2009 • 1:53 am 0
One Wakin Live In Singapore
February 7, 2009 • 2:57 pm 2
潜在经典名句
话说前男友莫名其妙把我砍成几段后，今天又莫名其妙传简讯说我误会他的意思。
当然不能再好好沟通了。纠缠了一阵，他说他累了（奇怪，明明是他先来惹我），然后撂了这句:
If there’s anything that I can do to amend for it, let me know. Bye.
看了无明火很自然地上来，于是我回答：
Return me my tears. BYE.
气在头上，但又不禁觉得，自己答得真好。
突然觉得心情畅快多了。
至少，在这个真正的结束，我走得潇洒。
却也只是无聊的自尊心在作祟。
Filed under: Crapping
February 6, 2009 • 8:41 pm 3
Startover
If you are reading this then
Congrats you are one of the lucky ones (or unlucky D: ) to gain readership for my new public blog. Heh.
I guess I really need a startover. There are people whom I do not want them to have access to my blog anymore, but I can’t stop them from reading.
Okay them is an overstatement. But whatever.
No I didn’t want to give up my previous dormain. Especially when it’s 2 days to the ‘second anniversary’.
But hey this isn’t too bad also.
yokunai = よくない = not good. Quite apt isn’t it? XD
Can’t think of any err decent blog names too. Password protected posts will have the same password as before.
Will just see what I can do from here.
Filed under: Crapping
